You know, it’s pretty easy to not exactly mean what you say when you write something. And if you’re writing under deadline sometimes strange things happen.
Need proof? See these actual headlines that someone probably regretted as soon as the newspaper hit the street:
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - Seriously? You think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers – Taking things a bit far, don’t you think?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - What a prince! Love’s young dream, I guess…
Miners Refuse to Work after Death - You know those miners are just slackers, aren’t they? Lazy no-good bums, I say!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - Probably cheaper than a trial, don’t you think?
War Dims Hope for Peace – Now whodathunkit? War is the obvious road to peace, isn’t it??
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile – Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures – Who would have thought!
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide – You can’t get anything past those clever London cops!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges – You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge – He probably is the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group – Weren’t they already big enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft – That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks – Do you think kids taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half – Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - Boy, are they tall!
And my personal favorite is…
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead - Did I read that right? What a shocking thing to discover in a cemetery!
So which of these do you think is the best/worst/funniest? Talk to me!